Biophobicity

Two days till I leave. Two fucking days. My life is pretty hectic right now, obviously - getting stuff, selling stuff, donating stuff, meeting people, handing in things, receiving blessings, attending temple services, pre-packing, banking, making lists, checking them twice, finding out who’s naughty or nice. I don’t have time for existential questions or anything - fuck that - I gotta get my shit in order first. My mom is far more stressed than I am. The way I see it, if I have stuff to get done, I organize my day in the most efficient manner, and I follow it to the tee. All my deadlines are kept and it’s not very stressful, it’s just busy. This day wasn’t stressful at all (actually, it was kind of fun) but it was busy as hell. Mom, on the other hand, worries so much about leaving and it seems like such an overwhelming task for her. Albeit she’s doing more stuff than just getting me ready to leave i.e. taking care of the house, managing food, managing my dad’s billing, etc., I still feel like she could get it done without being all stressed about it. The stress takes a toll on her, mentally and physically, and I hate seeing her like that.

This morning I had a personal training session - my second day in a row - and I was DEAD TIRED. I tried to push myself, but my body just couldn’t handle it for some reason. I ate well, stayed hydrated, rested yesterday, but I think my PT broke my body. Tomorrow will be recovery day and I’ll finish off my personal training sessions on Friday. I’m hoping to have lost 4% body fat by that session but I’m doubtful, cause I ate a massive fucking steak on my birthday and then finished it off with a fudge brownie a la mode. Note: 100%, unequivocally, worth it. Hah, as if I give a shit about my body.

Also, funny story. As I was driving back to my house, I stop at a stop sign and let a girl cross the road right in front of my car. This girl, probably around my age or slightly older, was wearing a long summer dress and looking absolutely stunning. Instaboner. I’m not usually the kind of guy who does this, so that’s probably why the following came out, but as I drove past, I catcalled her - I rolled down my window and yelled, “CUTE!!!” and then sped off. I saw her in my rearview and she looked amused, and, well, cute. She digs me.

Now it’s time to relax, play an hour or so of Blacklight: Retribution then head to bed so I can wake up early tomorrow and finish off all my prep for Grenada. Fun fun!